Lost: A Sense of the Sacred

A response to Chapter 12 in Asperger's Syndrome

Our bodies are a physical reflection of a spiritual truth which our American—perhaps all Western industrialized un-Civilization—has forgotten.

Life is sacred, and our expression of love at its apex can be a nexus for transformation and healing.

Sadly, intimacy and gender are the focii of crude humor, of a user/manipulator/power mentality, and of a false pride within some helping professions especially since the “anti-establishment movements” of the 1960's wherein talking about the body blatantly somehow leads to—freedom? From past taboos?

If we were truly enlightened then how we evolve into intimate relationships would be spoken of with AWE, with a deep respect for personhood.

What we get is an arrogance that masquerades as freedom. Writers of fiction have been ordered to add “spice” to their books if they wish to sell. More people attend R rated movies on a regular basis than less violent or explicit films. Somehow blithely—or maybe it's determinedly—exposing the heart of a relationship to analysis has made it easier to use and to be used by lovers. The assumption has been that if we talk, talk, talk, show, show, anal-lyze that somehow we become “free” from the taboos of previous generations.

If we are so “free, then why is suicide the highest single cause of death amongst youth? Gender identity, rather than being a stepping stone to adulthood and positive relationships, is a major confusion. Detailed and pragmatic “health” curriculums are presumed to educate. But why are STD's, abortions and pregnancy so common in high school? Behaviors that less than a generation ago were an illness are not only okay, they are encouraged and even preferred behaviors in the media.

That is confusing.

I am not writing this to close off gender discussions and life choices. I believe in genuine freedom. I write this to highlight CULTURE CHANGE that is neither loving or respectful.
The uses of our bodies need to be toward healing and love. The manner of pursuing a relationship cannot solely be about physicality. Intimacy as JOY is far beyond prime time television's crass humor as well as the cold, detailed, “scientific” descriptions inherent in curriculums and textbooks.

Those souls entwined in neurological differences, who have already been labeled, insulted, misunderstood, railroaded and manipulated by (sometimes well-intentioned) interventions, are now targets for psychobabble and “professional pride” for research and “open” discussion. Sometimes, in reading “studies” by psychology's researchers, I think their goals are to “beat” this syndrome and prove how great THEY are. Their stated goals seem to aim toward healing but actually just summarize the pain and/or ignorance of a youth or adult.

When a soul already has difficulty talking and relating, how does teaching them about biology help?

I would like to present another concept, one that's been around since the early Hellenistic (Greek) era.

There is male. There is female. And there is androgynous.

In high school, reading my dictionary as usual, I discovered this word and for the next decade or two it saved my life.

Androgynous, using the botanical definition, is having the male and female aspects within one cluster...balanced. Both sides, no need for invading or being invaded. It is being perfectly balanced, having a nurturing side and a strong side. By developing my strong, outward task-oriented male nature consciously while also attending to my nurturing, creative and passsionate characteristics I found I did not HAVE to have a relationship based on gender. I could GIVE, I didn't NEED. I suspect that our culture could use more giving and less demanding.

The other word is INNOCENCE. Yes, I got teased a lot in and out of school. Yes, unscrupulous persons took advantage of my naiveté. Some still do with crude jokes that I just do not understnd. Nor do I want to understand.

What is wrong with innocence? Why is there this drive toward making everyone the same? Sullied?

When the sacred becomes mundane, trivialized, no wonder people confuse love and lust. So many hearts—so many minds and bodies—have been shattered when the promise of intimacy turns out to be a power trip and self-stimulation by the Other, by the intended beloved's body.

What could be joyful, freeing and healing has become another trap.

The most common songs are hymns or psalms. Love songs, love ballads, are the next most common theme. I haven't seen statistics to further define genre, but it would not surprise me if the great majority of love songs mourn loves lost.

We are physical persons. Some would have us defined by our gender because gender is somehow intrinsic just because it is physical. I think male and female natures go beyond so paltry a definition. Love is sacrificing the self, not stimulating the self. Love is choosing to respond, not being waited upon. Love is unafraid of being seen in the Light.

Be not afraid.

Make love, not war.