Processing 10 Friendships

(July 1, 2009; CarolAnn Edscorn; Jaffrey, NH; Growing up different; each poetry unit is a childhood memory.)


Statuesque
Bright auburn
Blue eyes glittering
Pretty and I thought
Perhaps she could be a friend
She seemed friendly
Always smiling at her girlfriends

They clustered
As middle school girls do
Chattering, smiling
Casing out the boys
Across the cafeteria
So I stood nearby and
Listened

I smiled
Nodded
Tip toed closer
Almost touching
The cluster
Of young ladies

Talking about boys
Talking about make-up
Talking about hair
I am so not interested
But I listen and nod
I smile and edge
Closer

Pretty so pretty
Are her insidez pretty too
Nearly a part of the clutch
Now
Short brunette utters
‘You are so pretty’
Shorter blond murmurs
With shy smile
‘You are sexy
The boys like you’

My chance
Lean forward
Smile
Speak
‘I think you are pretty too’

Not what girls want to hear
From other girls
She smiles from her height
Pauses
Considers
I hope
Please accept me

‘I think-
I think-your elbows are
Sexy’

Happy, so happy
She spoke to me
I have sexy elbows

The other girls are laughing
No
They are sniggering
They move away
I recognize the snigger
The purpose of snigger
Rejection

Standing alone
In the middle of this
Great big room full of youth
Full of life
Smiling
Gabbing
Relating
Standing alone

She is right though
I have sexy elbows
She gave me that gift
She cannot take it
Away
Like she can take herself
Away

I am my own best friend